Free Thought & The Future of Self: the World of Social Media

"Dainty": Into the Pond of Thought

Where will our minds go?
"The Future of Self"

Curiosity Beckons

As we each become more Internet savvy, questions arise as to whether or not this direction has been good for humans on a Philosophical scale.

Experientialism with Freedom of Thought is more possible than ever, decisions & opinions to stalwart with. Communicating on Social Media and finding interests well-suited to our own.

The old "no-choice" of being glued to past rhetoric now has a chance to lift away,
the veil of thousands of yrs of have-to's, due to strict religious and political mechanisms of control, has been lifted.

Freedom of thinking and the ability to communicate those individual thoughts is a powerful gift.

A gift that allows for completeness and substantiality of "being human",
a new thought passage for many, a chance to live with our thoughts.
Thoughts non-wasted, and allowed to earn respect in agreement.

Victorians Be Gone

Without this new chance of freedom, far away from the Victorian & Colonialist Eras,
we would still be captive prisoners of societies "standard heeds" and "warnings", filled with superstitious beliefs, that for centuries have put millions under control.

"But I love tea-time!", don't get me wrong I adore tea-time also.
Biscuits and beautiful teasets, with a time for purposed "Civility".

Beyond rituals of scheduled fun, there were ritualistic thinking patterns during the last few centuries, heavy with societal ordinances:
Such as... :
How "humans" relate with animals as animals-only, and rarely were they seen as pets (companion animaux).
Compliances such as Family Sunday Dinner after Church,
Never speaking out of turn towards a parent or elder, regardless of their "sane or non-sane" reasoning.
Devout religious rituals and pious sanctity of chastity holding moral vices on every living soul.
Where Puritanical ruled for centuries.
"Mum is the word", "better left unsaid", "It's been our way"
The age of writing a letter, being the main method to initiate the possibility of a courtship, to even spark the chance of a life-long marriage.

What a Break-Out!

In order to pursue this gift of "free thought thinking",
each of us must be allotted the time, else we feel incomplete and sent back into those restrictive historical eras.

Social media has become our new thought-resource "speak-out" event, in which to obtain even more free-thought thinking.
A place where we can each make decisions of whether: "to follow or not follow" the lead.

Although as empty and vast, it can feel to each person by being online,
it does offer the chance to disclose ideas, in which to pool towards a higher human self.
A human self generous, ethical, intellectual, "World-purposed as opposed to being Self-purposed".

The Crude Past

The disclosure of thoughts processes from oneself is an important new beginning, for the much of the human race.
Whereas prior, only a certain few were granted the privilege to "Ponder",
While the others lived in their mired sweat-factories and mills, entertaining "crude aspects of personality", being their only norm.

It will take time for generations to grab hold of this new allowed freedom though.
Due to years of inherited & taught conditioning from "ruled" perspectives.

My Quick list of...
Motivational & Philosophical
Youtuber's:

Matt
Russell Brand
Markus Rothkranz
Mark Bajerski
Sadhguru

Although as empty and vast, it can feel to each person by being online,
One day though, I do believe many people will be true "Free-thought thinkers",
"Creators", where their mind-sight is enriched from having the new ability to draw their own conclusions, gained by their discovered insight and experiences.

Where personal satisfaction grows-up,
and looks forward to the new daily expansion;
of free participation to share and continue formatting ones own belief systems.
Where like a brook, that rarely new the rain, the expanded mind now has the chance to flow.

Therefore to be online, is not just the first flippant extreme held for years as "this is my funny gag".
Oh no, we definitely have the opportunity each to go past those moments of sheer stupid human tricks,
or idle non-caring.
Towards a future, rich into the philosphical aspects of self, where maturity becomes a true satisfaction.

A Pool of free-thought?

As time goes on, we will not be just a pool of chorinated toxics, but rather a beautiful thought pond: an ideal gathering of life's constructs;
where frogs, dragonflies, birds & fish inhabit along a flowing river surrounded by willows & pines, with cool water perfect to step into during the days heat.

Do we resent online? Yes, especially when it's turned into a media glitch of non-discovery. All in good time, the ads will not be so required, companies will be appropriated for their efforts, in other ways, and we can finally be able to live within the game of our thoughts and expression.
Our compelling worries & woes, our new creates, and our expressions of love and joy will be never be leashed again.

Do I want to blog personal?

I have done so,
yet it always returns me into, deletes,

...they don't get it,.... they presume...
or ...they stalemate me with their conclusions,

A brief witness, into a self-allowed that types freely,
until the others trapse in with their conceptions
of "no".

"It's not our way.",
you're never free, the people of societal conforms,
as group of theirs, always, own your rights of breath.

Even a small group and you are not free.

Globally surrounded by directors of positional systems "of how".
-------------

It sounds the obstinate youth, moi, yet guess it never went away.
My size, is the reason, query it,
My female, is the reason, query that as the cause of injunctions against,
then what,  my hair tone,  and the guesses go on.

I was born, .... and they all appear to want.

They, .... being the humans.


------------------------

Cool, I have an interview and probably will begin working soon,
if not already tomorrow for retail... in a pretty little shop.

Was that the want.
My case closed, the discussion theirs... spent into a sigh else,
onto another, to facet their drawls against.

------------------------


I never said I wasn't a director also,
just feeling penned in,
by quick judges... rallying in tallies of; leisure activity and wealth allocation.

"Your bothering us again about finances, go away."

Isn't it better to know your own families, homeless almost,
rather than it being a street unknown?
 
Safer for you, wasn't I, at least for a time.

Now, a major employment is in play,
you won't have me... as your back-up lessor anymore.

Is that a bummer for you?
Now for sure,  your Christmas is..
a pace back to the salvation army bell
for another drops of coins.

Some families would pay me off,
just to fend the bell-tollers away,
but not mine, they act too serious about money.

------

OMG,
what a family of un-fun brothers & their wifes, I have.
------

Merry Christmas already.

----------
Confessionals;

1.) I drank too much vodka & cranberry, Sat. nite.

2.) I missed church on Sunday and I feel little guilty.

3.) Ok. I am a bit jealous of that exhibition painter,
who gets to paint, in such a elaborate space.
Too bright for me though, for painting,
I need a darker space, like in a corner, with no spots,
back to van gogh's 'potato lighting'.

4.) The cutsie fix-it-up artists' mall,
Valley View, needs a "water-lily pond", in the middle.

Truths into continuance

Sorry for the length in these blogs as of late,
but in cases of restitution,
the implorances of information are saught
to gather truths away from the edibles of taudry gossip trees.

The small interrupt...
it's her fault or it's his fault
a simple irreconcilable difference between the two,
to instate a divorcement of their persons.

That is the procedure spent upon and learned by the
witnesses of TV's discovery again and again of
splendourific fates with marriages and relationships gone awry.


The too easy fails in this predicament,
and swamps further into a series of more information requested
to ascertain the involvants in the situation.

Its gathers presumptions that the pointed fingers at the woman,
here (me) are dedicated to endow her with an over-drama throne.
A woman whom cannot tone it down, and the writtist plether with,
get away from her as she is too insane for his kind man to gentle with.

In insanities doing of experiences with,
I requested a hospital for personal protection,
as there was no other place to turn to in
his dedicated predicament against me.


Instead I found an opulent spend,
a journey into deviant health practices,
and fundings over given to insure persons are over-captured
by discredited doctors of analysis.

Archaic methodoligies and commitments to keep the reinstatement of paranoias into the persons living there. It was not a health state institution, that lusters with the props of betterments such as organic foods and normalacies of a safe rest with a purpose of healing and return to society. Rather a regular sighting of intimidative straight jackets to re-despair the persons living there.

I thought france was up to par with its health mecanism
and have found it to be disturbingly otherwise.


What a shock, I found there,
from my tell of a nightmare and a spend of one nights duration.

Over-wardened ownerships,
keys over-locked and ritualled for the doctors specifically,
and the persons resident exposed to their cruelias
of over-dramatic ownerships of their persons
via their paperwork involvments and decisionry.

Straighten up and fly right,
behave as well intentioned children,
that are adults now, ...
downplay the initias of truths to give,
and perhaps you too can find yourself removed from that residence.
An analysis group that holds itself richly
that a tale of lies and less than truths, are the only way to leave.

A place so scary, its brubakeran in its concept.

Luckily I have the ease of commitments to gather myself away
from those callers of own.
However, its does not go forgotten, by me,
and readily feel it insights persons
into a mentalia scare they have never before known.

A stuck with me, for the rest of my life,
a ruin to my happiness just by levels of knowing,
a rupture into my good and benevolent character,
an idle into the distrust of more persons
that engage to walk upon this earth.

I feel a personality ruin,
has occurred from my simple want of a protected one night duration.

An attempt and a re-attempt to sour my disposition,
and complete it with the arguement that persons rally toward evil first, in precedence to good.
-----------------

I call to myself inside,
what happened to the Jacques Cousteauian france I was sold on TV.
The france where persons are not surrounded by a zombie state of population. 

The real, the actives, the makers,
the persons whom create and discover life anew
without the leachers of misconfidence,

where are those persons who tidy away from old predicaments
and remove them from pertainments of occurances allowed?

-----------------

I sense I have many enemies already due to my political beliefs,
and perhaps those small pettiances
are where each of those persons remain...
to sit and jurate against me.
A rapturic place, a place to specify a knowing.. a wrong from her,
as their group commits into that tight pile of thoughts shared.

A refinding insumps into the paradise lost, as a sad joke from them.

During my stay here,
in reaction to the obscenities spent against my person,
I returned to dance as a safe harbor.
My only requiem allowed, as my singing was injured by other.

I am not an attempter here to define my husband as an evil.
I believe someone has pulled him into a negation side
against me and on purpose.
If that side is for him to live,
over the extent of any other,
whether by threats, tones or other predicaments,
he would do as the threateners request
and attempt to survive even at my expense of living.

In this decadent time of parental harassments of inherital owns.
A man is too scared to journey himself into the decrepid initiatia
of cements and barter his life of survive on the city streets.

A disownment then, becomes his give too me,
and I understand that easy male decision, to live or die.
As it is a death sent to him, if it is to journey
into the direction of homelessness and life on the streets.

It's him or her to be homeless then. Is that the parental class?
The class that scours their atm withdrawls and penshapes their benevolence with a few taudry donations here and there.

As the threatener
now calls him to dispend amounts to the water bill, paid forthwit,
I believe he has been allied for his life to live...
over threats into other.

So I am merely a pluckant disown,
that vendettas keep well and handy into a persons ruin.

I wish I knew who the threatener was. It would resolve things easier.
As he has removed himself from the eu, I believe he is in a coordination to stop the threatener in regaining any further momentum against me.

No husband wanting "out" goes to ruin a wife in this method.
It is not a normal situation.

There was a non-disclosed surgery he had, several years ago,
and I do not know of the doctor, nor where it occurred.
Since that time, his personality abrupted changed on me,
opposing all I said, for quite a while.

If the caller to his surgery was a woman,
then perhaps the pain from the event,
reinstates women in general..
as the doers of the deed, and causers of his pain.

After much of the heavy metal revibe and blasting went on, my husband  left, and I was left here in this house, only to receive more initias of the torture on my own.
Is that dramatic?
Is that now a call to me of a woman who incites hatreds everywhere?
Why was the disownment of legalities to those persons allowed?

It is possible my brain vessels had hemoragged from the noise.
And only now, after these many years has the swelling reduced
that I can commit the series of events into write.

I have reacted with full concepts that I could not tell,
what happened, for many years.

I made vlogs and brought what was left of my personable character
as best as possible to the camera state.
The camera state bringing actings and truths.
And yes, with full knowledge I am slurring in many of the immediate vlogs at the beginning. Slurring due to a stroke I received.
From the humilitant of disbreath, a stroke therein gains.

Hows that for a non-invoking of a husbands doing and allow.

A visit where he has been is in question,
as throughout the last few years he has over-taken himself away,
without tells of the where to.

Perhaps those visits of the where to he took,
will lead us all into the answer of whom
this final group of threateners really is.

Recent deceptions and readies into speeding tickets,
a personality change on him so abrupt,
that I stir the involvee query here, into that of a scared man,
that feels doomed chased by others,
whether financially or incapacitated in reasonable allow to help.

Where are you, proposant persons?
Did he render a peerage known woman
into the ridicule of duck collecting,
while, I journeyed away to clear my thoughts of marriage
for a small time.
"How dare she, endeavor a work effort to that peerage known woman."
Is that the consentee of writ, that re-stirs the pen against me.

A slave class under,
tampering with the hands of the idle rich.
Is that the callent that lives to ridicule me
into a death here since the past years.

A disminded woman of political allow,
political allow...
as she has with all appearances that of a property owner in france,
by her and her husband,
therefore, I feel she,
"over-embellishing her pompenstating indifferences to others,
as that of the spitiant working class,
a class of persons bereft of allowable function,
only payents of work",
as a person furtherly involved also..

Involved against me, as on that one day,
a venge stirred out, for she was the new into under-slave person
from my predicament of choice, to go away for short time.

How dare she, 3-4 weeks of get out and then return to pay.
How dare she ever treat anyone that way again.

I render to call her as a misfit,
disallowed to rent and collect surpances from other persons.
As she has mistreated them, into farient states of travel and
disrefuge for the gains of her monetary predicaments.

That's all for today,
as she truly has over-tired my person
into a quantal state of "what a rupturic decider",
as she attempted to queen the world under her false reign,
when she has no rights of person or bearing thus.

The Rule Pushers

The rule pushers...


In the decadence of a group that has been allowed
to be uncompassionate toward animals,(for instance)
in care and keeping,
the obligations of rules supercede their criminalities.


Those persons whom interrupt life with harms and diskeeps
are the rule pushers.

In my minds eye, I never have entertained the objective
to judge them into a rule, yet I have to...
as their wrongs outweigh
the occurance creative of another rule or ruling.

Personally I am forced to be a judge in many instances over persons and behaviour, in my time spent, while here on this planet.

Perhaps that is why I feel as to live in the silence of a judges quarters in a constance of applications toward the criminal misdeeds of others.

The nuisancers, the harmers, the keepers of misconduct toward others were all patently applied to rules and regimine. Why I must be that re-teller is simply an additional hatred push against me as an artist.

As it does turn me into a person whom has no choices other that to be a rallier against the crimes against me and others upon this planet.

To be forced to re-remind persons of proper conduct
is an obscene against my person.
As to omit all rules else known before,
and commit me as the only writer ever before known
to instate them into a public decree,
is to go against all rules ever written before by others.

In my dis-splendour of circumstances
I have requested financial assistance,
In my dis-splendour of circumstances
I have been over spent as a female in the disownment
by a particular village and persons near to it.
In my dis-splendour of circumstances,
beliefs given and sent to one man have superceeded me
as a person of any allows.

All the while disowning my place as an artist allowed.

Interrogating me into the constance of the capture from others,
to fret into the criminal justice system as my only sentencing of allows left.

To ruin a person into where they must be the re-writer of rules already stipulated,
in the current era 2010 and on, 
is from them to live as liars to that system and
ready themselves as anarchists against it.

-----
I have been pushed to the edge and even where I am not an alcoholic tainted into drinking the practical pharmacueticals from the gathers of my vinegared wine.

That one afternoon, I expressed drunk and disorderly conduct,
if someone wants to write "drink and disorderly" down as a rule also.

Why a visit from the villages mairie later that day was festuned upon my residence as a preliminary action, after the fact of any drunkard activity,

Each visit he has presumpted into this direction of my residence is a tabloidal quieting that he knows nothing of my quest for financial and european involvement with my few presentations,
ie. the begins of the ballet embassy
and financial funding for artist supplies.


He has essentially dis-emboweled me as a person living,
in the raw, upon my daily thought processes to re-harm me as an individual and take obvious sides with my husband and his parents and my father.

A visit by that person here is a redirected action of a wardens take of a woman falsely imprisoned and accused.

There is no befriendment toward him ever in this situation,
and feel either by assuages from others of either political, commercial, or other financial containments, that he has usurped me as a person live and living.


He later that day visited the property,
Albeit I was in a suffrage state.
Presumptively a call into the query, is everything ok?
dumbified as to any ocurrances or
misdeeds toward my person of previous times,
a visit from that mayoral person is as a dull stabbing
into my heart from a rejective group of persons.

Bourgeouszee? is that his talent.

Embarassing dear sir that, embarassing, for who is that woman, is she of material wealth to care?

That is the explica of his tortures of no financial help.

Do some persons legitimize into a fantasia of allow
due to and because of bank account constituants?

As I have not appeared to represent the material entrapments of a digital bank account in wealth, I have been silenced here for many years. A captive by persons whom have decreed themselves as judges without even casing my litigations as a human allow.

In this instance this has become a human rights issue,
against my person, directly here in the frolic of a french countrysides pretenses.

Were you all waiting for some death miracle such as a suicide,
on my part?

An easy quieter,
an insignifigant woman misfortuned
by the criminal actions of others...
over-keeping a possy inventa upon her,
without a true criminal court system
allowed to partake its dedications of decisory
rights over wrongs and alleviate her from this capture.


As my pitiances of financial spends in the last 3-4 years have been these items,
I will requisition them into a list for your viewing:

1). food supplies,
from the major store in a nearby city and a few others.
2). 100-200 euros per year in knitting materials.
to provide myself and my husband with blankets.
3). a few garden plants to spur the provisions of a winters
keep, to insure survivability.

Any time spent or spends into art supplies,
or other equipment to provide a house with comforts
have gone elaborately into the non-allow. 

One time, an expensive gesso from Paris was provisioned.

To be given driving rights, during the past 3-4 years
I did have access to a vehicle rented.

The cars themselves were vandalized by others and
received broken windshields with each new rental.

I proceeded on a few occasions to the stores to look
to shop for comforts to this house to help my husband
endure the agony of his predicament,
looking for another house and pond.

His predicament is not the blog today, as that is all too often by others,
yapped into as a new woman in need
or a new life to have elsewhere without my person.

Somehow the group against me appears to think
the push further into my death journey is an appropriate...
in order to free him from person,
as if I am a leech sucking his life forces.

This is a case where I have been criminalized against,
and fortunes spent elsewhere,
damning me into a muddic death of who?
Never even saw or knew of the woman.


Beyond disgust is whom
these persons in coordination against me are.

Heavy metalbands next door have played at such loud volumes as to deafen and ruin my hearing, aside from create the obvious incitory
announcement that I am officially a tortured woman.


The bands? at the proximity so loud that nearby villages also heard their disfunctive practice.

Is that a doctors allowance? a new medicine for?

Is this a harming to a woman due to abortion rights and issues?

If this group has a called-into infatico of abortive woman killings,
then I hesitate for another female to move to france ever again.


That's pretty much all for today folks, hope you all enjoyed your daily blotter.
I sadden as to the knowing that my readers are cowards
that have sat upon their hands, in the doing of nothing,
while I cannot meander into the art realm of a toadstools paint.

As the translator, bent the paper and nearly tore my artwork from my hands upon my showing of it within the mayoral office, that day.
The zombied callousness was announced,
that she also has shown a deathic decisory toward my artisan allow.

A stated group of rule pushers
all that have endeavoured to continue with torturing me directly,
along with....

the obscene discomforts of already known persons
whom readily engage into discompassionate caring of animals and persons.

take care? as the proffered mercedes drives away.


Obviously a sequence of woman in residential situations
must be edicted into writ.

A written letter of declare from all of the women, house to house,
and apartment to apartment, that all is well and good to her person financially.

Or am I merely,
the rawkous preference of a women kept into an infamy of death spades,
by the legitimized signatories of a few persons.

The lower limit on the aging factor

In the culmative of a group of persons with an
organized knowledge of certain thought processes,
in example, that we have this particular way of eating or drinking,
it becomes a generalization of their status quo.

A status quo of events that becomes a ruler of those participants,
a tight weave that intersects them into a bond that discherishes
much newness.

As time sweeps those persons into the habit,
of the comforts known of a certain knowledge...
it is a distance for them to brain travel
into accepting another new outbound thought,
therefore unaccepted as an inclusive new thought-round
allowed to ego with that group.

For some reason as persons age they appear to
comfort cling into one area of knowing and knowances,
and any new partangles allie with the possible misfit of chance.
The misfit of chance is an interrupter to their casual comforted lifestyle.

Chance is for some to edit their eating, and habits away from too much dairy,
chance is for some the wrong doing of not sleeping-in on Sunday.

To imbibe into the thoughts of chance at later ages in life does seem to
re-interpret away from the easiness of adaptations and re-adaptations
known in youth...
further away from the known event of a new discovery,
into a no-chance offer.
As that offer includes risk,
a risk that may lessen their current lifestyle and comfort factor.

As the news shows journey into further feardom,
it is surprising many persons dare to travel at all,
or even entertain eating foods from another continent unvisited.

Therefore, my conclusion here is people are actually fighting the aging factor earlier and more so, due to the incepid possibles of risk...
such as myriads of credit theft gangs, etc, etc.


After the bombardment of irative wars, it is no wonder we are sent into the defines of a stoic aging that lives and parties less, as in truth there have been too many deceptors available on lifes' pathway, sent to too many persons.
 
Deluded youths in their 40's, life is an over, let the old habs over-60...
run a muck then, while it feels as if they win,
win as a child guppy rehash daily spent,
and we lose, as life itself has lost its intentions and meaning.

And no, a child does not deliver re-intention in,
only re-argues and interrupts the spirit of ones already known
... disenchanted meaning of experiences..

Store Fattened: begins my lawsuit request series

After not shopping for months and months,
and resorting to only foraging and living off in-house
and natures outdoor supplies,
I was given a zike-out to town, with a shopping experience, via superstores of city-time.

Gone for the moment, was the self-survival drama,
and those thought upsets... spent at the wealthy self-sufficient
with myriads of outback Tennessean products, from stills to wine corkers.

It is an all of a sudden food drop experience,
to all at once replenish the goods emptied, entering into lethargies kitchen once again.

Reminds into the gone events of those items such as raisins,
that I had disheartened into never having again.
And reluctant knowing, that the small tree-dried cherries I had collected months earlier,
are raisins in hiding.

After acorns are newly attempting to turn into butter and pears have become biscuits,
I get to shop else? at the corporations injunctions of space warehouses with their always
casually-there availability. "If you or someone with you has money and transportation."

Before the shopping of grossetic refills,
the only true food item... I wandered into not ever having, with great fears, was Olive Oil.
Olive oil, or nut oil is a have-to with any vegetarian-style diet, even with nuts available,
especially if one doesn't indulge in an occasional fish or gathering of slugs and snails.

I forgot the luxury of nut oils for salads,
and mind thought into instead, to create a website...
that will gift send me 5 liters of olive oil in cans,
via online donations.

Also the vendetta felt luxury of coffees bitter,
demising into almost empty,
tends into the wary know that yes,
roasted wheat is supposed to be a hot drink also.

Catkins and tree seeds, start entering as a flour source,
baked in flat chewy rounds with fruit. and the wheat becomes provisional,
shared with the birds that I tend to.

As I have discovered recently,
that I can almost forage and live without store purchased products,
and be healthy, the only the troubling circumstance is winter,
which dis-rescues the easy edibles from being available.
So food storage and garden replacements,
become pertinent as ones only important task in life.

Hanging stinging nettles and squash vines,
to turn into flours and/or powders to add into drinks, at a later date...
has too happen, as the bodies needed green source of vitamins.

At least until the clovers, parsleys and renettling returns.

Its been kinda years like this on and off, so I was mildly prepared,
however, its still a freak out, on long term alone time.

Everything wanders in,
prison sentence?
housebound makers?
what the hell is going on?

Especially when the garden was too small and didn't grow enough;
long term helpers such as pumpkins and food containers are scarce.

aargh,

I don't need the man race to deficit me into 10000 yrs bc,
time lining me away from artisan,
refeeding me into only the worries of food supply.
while they live in their modern exista,
leaving me un-equipped for self-survival.

----------------------
Oh yeah, can someone piece my *sculpted dancers together
and have them foundried, for resell.
Perhaps that can pay for something in my direction.
---------
*Positive hope financially returns,
as that was an accomplishment
 in societies wake at one time.
...

And yes, luckily, most of the time,
I exist with electricity available and turned on,
Equipped with a small freezer, stove with an oven and a few whirring appliances to mingle the makes of recipe together. though the resent builds anyway, ......... and less I use them., only the wood stove/oven only and a few lights, radio and computer recharges.

The long term needed tomatoes of garden are resenting their capture also,
and flaunting themselves into ferments of bubbly tomato champagne,
which is not what I needed as a task to redo.
Sadly, oven-drying tends to burn them, with or without oil.

sea salt, sea salt, sea salt,
speaks again as a remember me as a brine idea.

Oh yeah, I am normally out there,
with transportation and shopping infrequent and being provided,
perhaps 15 years lived in this manner, with great distances to those stores also.
with a few intermittant times spent back in the citified forest
of income non-understanders of my way of life.

Yet, I never really knew this abandonment version, until now.
The when-to of return. ,
alongside no transportation or funds.

Moving to town as a buffet keeper,
is not possible in my circumstances ever,
no matter how pretty my face is too look at.
So destitute your reasoning
in that shows attempt as it will never happen.

As I am accustomed only to know living in the outer realms,
It would be a gifting of a paranoiac state to me, to re-enter into city-life,
therefore an abusive incall on the person(s)
wanting that action of near to or city-liiving for me.

One year I only went shopping a few times, another year, only once,
and stayed at home the rest of the days, with shopping purchases brought to me.
So it is not possible for me to re-mingle in their tribe of near-to-town.

Since I live with less than 10 trips to the store per year,
the store itself has become only a provisional substance gathering zone,
it is not a social substance, nor a be-like-the-others experience.
It is a provisional pay into gathering place for supplies.

Since I have essentially been trained this way, since 1996, 
alaska, new mexico, ireland, france, corsica, and france again.

I have a tremendous seclusionry lifestyle,
not available to persons who just started out living in the country for a while.
As they tend to become shoppaholics,
to resupply the look of the cities stores in their houses.

In my situation moving to a citified lifestyle,
would be an inhumane action to my person, due to the time lived as,
an option open to strange persons minds I don't even know,
a option that will fail.

As I am not a capturable animal as a horse or cow that can be fenced in
I wonder the persons who diatribe in constance to change my lifestyle.

I will only walk back to the land and live again as I have before,
where country try-out newbies will happily re-cling to the city circumstances
and superstores that refeed them.

The money out, city or country, is no variant different, so why the intrusives.


Where I am predicted into extensionalism buried-in again.
wondering is else out there, as I also.

Was the error here, the extensionism into foraging to survive.
As now I have experienced it, I am never to trust the others.

If one is directed to cram in with the others, after years spent other,
well, I understand the walk away into going nomadic,
and was there a reason for that as a win,
on someones bank account only?

As that would be a greedy owner, ...
who lives to enslave that person, ... is it a parental?...
get closer to that dedicated brick and mortar banking institution?

In my case,
with all the properties out there, from lakes to rivers to fields that require caretakers,
even many government properties, in seclusionist states, why this new push into town?

To earn a living? I earn it here online in giving this book out today.
I do not need to re-enter that tune, of gives,
arts, writing, perpetual motion(s), and new a beta gov., etc.

-----------------------

Is going to town, and living near to town,
merely the pregnancy want of a man male,
or a parentals want for him,
to find and look at another to impregnate?

Inheritance rules on overkill?

My findant male isn't a shopper,
nor wanting or needing impregnation(s).

-------------
Back to seclusionry situations;
For many, seclusion can bring in abuse and abandonment lawyerly proceedings,
as a foul plethora of hatreds built-in against the person, creates an abusive suffrage state.

I desist from there, as I am trained into seclusion, and yes I enjoy
the pleasure-pain thought strains of solitary deconfinement.
---------

Back to the reshop:
In years of yelp-out, "where is the wheat grinder?" I still have no wheat grinder.
So, the sad fate of flour being gone, became another ruinous accept.
and belittling, as I require the grinder, to recipe items.

I can't point at him as a disprovider though,
as I have electricity, a usable kitchen, a house,
a self-procured vegetable garden,
occasional food supplies, and internet access.

Oddly, even a mercedes or bmw here, can be of the empty tank,
therefore have the look of a player in the money game... normal.

I still finger point at the corporate bakeries
who seem to have blocked the grinding mill invention,
especially here in france, as to make your own bread with fresher flour,
or recipe without the taints of yeast, would distort them into a customer less.

Sadly sprouted hard wheat calls as a health state known,
and the equipment into flour, again a fault want of my consumer.
The health fault known of congestive flour slickering intestional walls.
Cracked wheats and corns allocate into digestion, whereas the full kernals are not always.
And pitious little seeds such as flax, need to be soaked, and/or spouted.
---------

The last reshop event was with an in-law family person also!
Now that was too much,
as If, I am a harnessed prisoner with chains to my ankles that cut too deep,
paining my insides as a bloodletting of falsehoods
who know naught but their claims of what works for them,
as the only mantric ruleant to others.

----------------------
How dare... creeps in.
----------------------

Store purchased later,
I practically prostituted my belief system, for some more olive oil:
now I am a have-to,  egoed into website work,
a style sheet to relearn its news of how-to again,
and feel cheated into that task of work, another away from art.

I am a disperished soul that lives amongst those who purchase
art only from art school professors.

===================================================
===================================================
===================================================
I am practically stomach ached with the gross eclections from the store shopping,
new items, agave honey, sour cream and onion corn chips (already devoured),
imports from mexico.
Ships cargoing food, based on my in-store decision. Half-way around the world,
risking leaks and pollutions simply for my tastebuds to entertain a new product.

I have now earned a fresh massive guilt on the ship haulages.
and have to commit in-full to buying foods that are shorter distances or regional.
Not from cargo ships with designer food specialties, 
bringing in coffee haul guilt and the sad endurance of chocolate want.

In a way those two were acceptable to receive, as the mexicans need work,
but this is too much, south america and mexico in my kitchen.

Now I have to devine another work for the mexicans,
to stop "lets all export items to europe... habit."
"Non quero la productos de la Mexique, et Sud Amerique."
================="Only coffee and chocolate, a exportado."
===================================================
===================================================
===================================================
===================================================


The rush:
----------
With "in a hurry to shop",
it also becomes an impossible to label read the imports or not.
If the stores place the imports on the right side of the shelves,
or one area of the store, that would help the rush-time shoppers immensely.
----------

A nut press!* Is that my girly freedom now.
After finding and peeling acorns, after the leeching and worms are removed,
1/3 could be an oil source.
------------------------

I am disappointed by my fret in hardship worry before the in-store visitation.
Relaxed into overeating, crunching and munching quicker, after the store visit.
As if I would never need to think of food storage or even going to the stores again.
A total ditz brain on receipt of fancy packaged products.

but yeah, the food starts to get eaten and the remind returns,
of that nut press, *with a large handcrank, and a flour grinding mill,
perfected in-sync with garden rows of wheat, popcorn and oats.

yet, because the grain rows are not happening, as they are intensively ardous,
the supply shopping world is still needed, especially for my animals.

Expensed away from frugal on the store visit also,
as it was hurried, some things weren't priced correctly.
Like 8 euros for a butternut squash, as I didn't label price it,
a tiny 5 euros-over error occurred, being listed as a huge tomato cerise.

Also with rush shopping, on long duration reshops,
things are missed such as...citrus or fish, (if one eats fish).
and the ebb need of selecting,
one more sack of crushed corn or wheat, becomes a joust into less,
with the unknowing why? quiets me further into self.

Forget shopping for clothes, there is no time,
and perhaps not enough money either,
and the household items such as blankets or towels...
starve away from having another winter into.

Still prizing my 2 hens for their gives,
I idly despair the chance, that they may stop laying eggs at any time,
as they refused to brood during the summer, possibly due to cat fears.

I guess in a naming; self-survival
I call it self-survival in the surrounds of modernization, requiring foraging.
As the self-sufficient farm lifestyle brings with it, equipment,
and not the need to forage also.

Thusly, I retire to regarden again,
just to avoid that need of going to town, to occur so* quickly again.
Only when I want to go to town, not when I need to go to town.
*(thusly, I make wooden needles for sewing.)

Oh yeah well female, does seem as a give up now. also.
as I forgot to grab at the large stores version of mascara,
and the bio shop lock-ups were an impossible stopover to beckon for.

House juried in,
I don't want to see the over-supplies, so, I have attempted to hide them,
as to not disturb the chaos of my day-to-day thoughts.

--------------------------------
Full length version:
--------------------------------
Perchance this existence does allocate one of the spouses and/or shoppers,
to accelerate one into thinking of the possibles of a theft at home;
as the time away, is too long to avoid the wonder.

I believe many are already knowing this type of capture,
when one has to stay at home,
to appease the other,
due to their thought out warning list,
of ...the possible deceptives against,
the household zone, while journeyed away.

To art-stay at home, it works to stop those possibles,
yet the other may not get the tune, 
as the remains of that compendium of theftic fears,
has not been deleted.

So, the guard dog spouse, doesnt really allay
the person away from having the worries,
only reduces the repetitions of those experiences in having.

grr.

Perhaps live in an rv?
and park in the stores parking lot,
thats a joke, .
================

Oddly is its midst of less store supplies and more foraged supplies,
I did find myself ferverantly decisory into ownership of those gathered items,
due to the work involved and their long term necessity,
pausating into a plausible survival need.
Ground fallen bruised fruit, acorns, blackberries,
horse chestnuts, nettles, my vegetable garden items,
and the makes of their togethers,

I am not sharing forages of food, here,
but I would surrender them, during a non-available economic time.

whereas I feel the store bought products,
are held at a higher stake and cruelancy to the thief or take-wanter.

perhaps its all that pectin and sugar enhancement,
with exacting labels, pure unbroken seals, the perfect heist.

Their not the wanters of handtouched creations,
without the ingredients known of whats inside,
containing the possibles of ferments and bacterias blooming.
============

Piteous olds have gone away, such as baking to giveaway pies,
in luxurious 1950's phenomenal hairstyle duplexed high,
in the latests styles abandon.

If done so now, it is the store-drive-to shopping rich with
the occasioned retired time to friendship bake,
a recipe invented by others only... via a book or a tv show.

Friending-in, only with the financial rich near to or next door?
to pie fatten back into 50's retime again, then onto
the 60's to choose sides of... are you into flower power?

"Go away, says the self survivor, its 2013, I am foraging here,

keep up your drive-bys,
and aquitant wants to befriend,
in the countrysides latency of "what to do?".

keep up your uncountables in travels and journeys,
be as you are, the drive around specialty rich,
no matter the wheels there on,
bringing goods and foods to house-in,
founded with all those products imported, indecent and unfair."

--------------------

I cannot find a balance on the pretensive conditioning,
from the major shopping stores there,
the necessity is a garden space, but then nothing else
seems to be afforded in time or allowances of personal objectives,
therefore the meanderant shopping hauls provide air time
to think and create other things,
such as write, sing, art etc.