Royaume de France: Tears for Fears

Monday, February 15, 2021

Queen of France

Tears for Fears

windsor castle
Windsor Castle, from my ancestors.

Tears for Fears

I'm not doing well on this internet of commercial links, here and there.
I've written about 3 blog-affiliate-style shops and no click-thrus!, meaning 0 money.
This time, perhaps another try that's all. Maybe poetry or travel with a click thru to a book. I think I'm reaching the end of ever remembering exhuberance, 55, and 25 yrs online have left me too penniless. I don't believe I fit into the pay-per-word writer sites, either.
Somehow, this last week my robots.txt blog file has even disrupted into a fail, and I didn't change it. So, I don't trust any chance of earning an income for me. No matter I traveled afar and lived abroad and learned 70 arias.
It appears what smattering of self I have on offer, is of no interest to earn any financial gain.
Youtube proved many years ago just how they could block my site from potential subscribers, and turn me into a talking mirror for over 5 yrs.
Along the same time they removed any chance of monetization due to my low subscribers, halted at around 70 fake subscribers. When they wanted to destroy a person they did, I have aged a hundred yrs, from the anxiety they put on me, I am old now, not 55. The agonies from constant refusal, have killed me inside.
Forcing me with my only breaths left, to just be a bitchy complainer, when it wasn't ever my original nature.
It was too important for someone to stop me from expressing myself, and make me feel so low, that each day I wake, I can only wince at that hurtful chance, that I'm still alive. Why am I given a life to breathe as thus? what hell was I born for? The meaning of life will not be found through me, only the beg for death to take me away sooner. The people are fake, trendy and superficial, expressing the same mechanism taught to them on this machine.
No matter, that's what my life has become. Yet, somehow a lady who bakes cakes, can afford a thousand dollar camera, that doen't require the brightest of snow in order to take a picture. No, apparently, she earns a living out here.
It's a lose for me, the computer era has sent me into an early go-away. I don't want to compromise myself and link to more garbage that hurts the world either, so I guess I'll just lose, unless I try again, fighting though the smidgeon of limited options available for survival.
I'm tired of the machine, that keeps telling me; my words, ideas, and efforts are worthless.
Anyhoo, I guess I'll write another blog or two or three, away from "my indulgent self" here, that wanted a change.
Don't bother to Wish me Luck.
Should of, should of, should of, stayed with counter mania or the big whois, should of. But there was godaddy, eating up all the others, and stupid business decisions from me back in 1996. I just continue to lose and the smiley ones win.
I'm just a consciousness against: their religions, their compromised selves, & their diligence to turn this internet into a constant sell-anything machine.